death, dieting Show more

‪It’s been 25 years since The Shadow with Alec Baldwin was released, and “Psychically, I’m very well endowed” remains not a joke, and the audience was still wrong to laugh at it. ‬

Normally we are held hostage by our dog Sophie, who wants to kill our dog Roxy. Lately our dog GIR is having trouble walking, so now we get held hostage by two different dogs simultaneously.

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

Planking Show more

When the first astronaut to Mars was about to board her ship, her husband gave her a book.
"I have lots of ebooks to read," she said.
"Open it," he said.
"Wait, it's a library book?"
"Take it with you. So I know you will come back to Earth."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Holy crap my wife got me socks with my dog’s face on them.

Today’s Star Trek Discovery was so very Doctor Who. 👾

Dieting Show more

Dieting Show more

Dieting Show more

dieting, fitness Show more

dieting Show more

Things you should never call yourself:

"a creative"
"a role model"
"up and coming"

Fitness Show more

Dieting Show more

dieting Show more

bad parents Show more

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just the buddies